The Holiday Season and Grief - Ways to Heal

Gathering for the holidays has always incorporated faith, family and friends in observance and celebration. And every year at this time we are inundated with emotion derived from the loss of loved ones. We dwell on the memories of holidays past and become so busy feeling badly that we forget what the goodness of the season is all about. If it was important enough to remember sadly, then it’s important enough to remember fondly, because happiness with that loved one is what you are missing. That element gets in the way of healing and we can easily neglect to create new memories that could enhance the ones we embraced through family and tradition.

It is my understanding that our deceased loved ones want us to continue with their traditions and think of them fondly when we do. And the holiday season is a difficult time because we struggle with that, as though being happy would be a sin. They want us to celebrate. They wouldn’t want you to be unhappy and they certainly wouldn’t want you to struggle. It is my experience that they want us to create an awareness of our lives today, making them worth every moment so that we can still pass those moments onto the children of the future.

We do more honor to our loved ones by celebrating with them in mind by incorporating them into a new tradition, and a way to do more than “get through” the holidays.

Here are a few ways you might want to go about adjusting your thinking to help your holiday be a break from grieving, and at the same time, heal by making new memories.

1. Be aware of your use of holiday colors and share stories relating to them. For instance, one of my grandmothers was a seamstress who loved the color red. When I decorate with that color, I remember the red stocking she handmade for me, and the red satin ornaments on her tree! I make sure to share that story when I am with family and friends. That single act of sharing creates a fond memory for me and keeps my grandmother as a part of the festivities.
2. Light a candle at your holiday table in the name of those you wish to remember and toast them with the love and laughter of inclusion.
3. Be aware of the danger of dwelling in sadness because it’s easy to encourage more of the same. The next thing you know everyone around you will be depressed, too and a vicious cycle may unfold.

These are just a few ways one can deal with grief during the holiday season, while keeping our loved ones still closely involved in family tradition. It will promote joy and laughter for seasons to come.

How it Works for Me — Signs for a Medium

 

Since my mom passed almost twenty years ago, whenever I am in transition or have some milestone happening, I get a sign from her. And it’s never in question that the sign is from her because whatever it is will have her presence written all over it in some magical way.

For example, when she first died I was angry and missing her, telling my friends that I kept questioning God, convinced I’d never hear from her again. At the time this was first discussed, I was riding in the passenger seat of my friend’s car and she was driving. We were on our way to a media function in New York City and traffic was at a standstill.

“I miss my mother.” I said. I turned to my friend and my eyes caught onto something passed her, outside of the open window, and rested on something blue and white nestled in the corner of some buildings across the highway. 

“What’s that?” I pointed and squinted and now we were both staring at this.

My friend inched the car up so that we could get a better view of the little alcove and soon the morning sun lit it up to reveal a statue nestled inside. More than that, it was of the Blessed Mother, who was depicted in my Catholic religious upbringing, as wearing blue and white.

“It’s a sign that she’s OK!” I said, and we both smiled as the same thought came to mind, “

“You mean a sign from her, don’t you? Your mom?” my friend asked in further confirmation.

I shook my head. “Somehow it feels like it’s from someone else…”

“Who?”

As the car jerked forward in the traffic, I spun my head to my side of the window and, blocking my view through it, was the word: G.O.D. It was painted in large bold letters and emblazoned on the side of a truck that covered the entire window.

“I get it, I get,” and we both started laughing, so big a sign it was. Their acronym for GOD: Guaranteed Overnight Delivery.

Message received.

And that is how it works for me. I get a sign and it is often followed by grateful validation. I keep a journal of these personal paranormal experiences and I’ve allowed myself to become aware of everyday occurrences because they have transformed into magical messages for me.

Signs from spirit are everywhere. I believe we just have to be mindful enough to tune into them.

Previously published February 2018 on Medium.com

Back for More Spiritual Discussion

Hello, Everyone! Even though I moved the blog info and I now write them on Huffington Post, Medium.com and ThriveGlobal.com, people still visit here. So I decided to address some of the topics here again to reach those of you who have been writing privately so that we can share with others. The most popular topic seems to be my story regarding the hearing of chimes. I am going to be addressing some of the comments regarding this, so please check back often. And if you have your own experience, please feel free to post it here in comments. Meanwhile, to find me on social media: @LindaLauren and I am on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and LinkedIn Have a wonderful day! God bless, Linda Lauren